Ughhhhh.

Just blah. A word that sums it up.

I am so tired, physically and mentally. My brain is tired.. my body is tired... my whole self is tired.
Lack a sleep? Yes. That's the main point there.

Stress is slowly eating away at myself causing me to feel numb or depressed.

Everything just seems bad. It makes me want to run, far far far far far far far away.

This Tiredness + Stress + Lack of Sleep + Depression + Blah + lkebalekhbhe = bad.

I don't feel like me lately nor do I feel fully supported. School starts up in 5 days and I am ready to go back... Ready to just learn and get negative thoughts out of my mind. Maybe I won't feel AS much as a loner, make a few friends. None of which I could talk to cause once they hear my insane life. Ha. The stress of possible work causing me to have to withdrawl or cause some issue's with school... it's agonizing. I want my education.

I don't want to go on any crazy medication or anything, this is more of a mental battle really. Though, the estrogen pills were helping a lot... then I just felt like "eh maybe I don't need them" and wooosh.

My love life sometimes causes me stress. I am happy it'll be three years with Jonathan on May 10th. It's been an adventure that I hope will continue forever.

I just hope life gets better soon. That I will get a good enough part-time job, go to school full time SUCCESSFULLY... and be able to not worry about if we're gonna be late on rent again. I never thought I'd hit this point... but of course, once things are going good... shit hits the fan.