Random life stuff.

This is the point in my life I thought I would not have to face. But I appear to be a bit wrong.

I believe there is a point in time where things will get bad, but eventually work it's way back to being good, right? Many live life day-to-day focusing on the bad rather then the good. There is a vast amount of opportunities to behold. Why not seize the day? Take upon it's glory and become optimistic! Don't allow oneself to fall between the cracks and wonder where the good went. When the going gets tough, bite the asshole back.

I find myself always on the emotional side, dragging myself down with worry, self doubt, and so much more. This is the losing side. There is no cookies. I keep allowing myself to fall inbetween the cracks and not help myself up. Does loneliness have that much control over me? Does the mere thought of forever alone scare me that much?

I would like to say I am the most thoughtful, caring, and epic person in the world. But who looks at that anymore? Who ever did? A pretty face seems to appeal more then a great personality. I see these shows with artificial woman and how men drool over them. I don't want to be that person, and refuse to be. I also refuse to be the one who allows herself to 'let go' and become obese. Fitness and health are important, especially if death is NEVER an option. I let myself become overweight with stress and much other issue's in my life. But that is NO excuse. I will not abide to this. I WILL force myself, push myself, MAKE myself healthy and fit again. And when that day comes, I will move onto my next goal.

Ambition is everything. Ever since I was a child I have been very ambitions. I strive for greater things. I strive to learn and achieve my goals. Those without ambition are without life. It can be anything, too. My ambitions are simple, but complex at the same time. Some are easy, and of course, some are hard.

Lose weight. - Well obviously I am on the track to do that currently, 12lbs to this date. I am VERY proud of that.
Obtain Degree's - Yeah, more then just my Masters in Fine Arts for Creative Writing. I want much more out of education. I want to learn as much as possible. Perhaps Psychology? Business? History? Science?
Start Business- Quite a few I wish to start, actually. I think it would be grand.
Travel - It's a goal of mine to go to Ireland. Really, all around Europe. I've traveled America, next the world. I don't really wanna live here all my life, either.
Language - I find it useful to know more then English. I am not saying learn Spanish, but something different. With world travel and possible moving out of USA, I wish to become more fluent in Irish and German and Japanese.
Published - I want to publish a novel. I have many and want to finish them all and achieve that.
Children/Marriage - This is touchy. One day I would love to be married and probably have kids. This should be later on in life.

And so much more. I have a ton of stuff on my mind, excuse the randomness of this posting.

There is more to be said... but I am too tired. Goodnight Blogger.